In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
When did angry sex become our thing?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
