So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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