dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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