Having a random hookup so left but love u
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
