nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Randomize
