The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
