At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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