everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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