as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
