he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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