So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
