the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
