why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
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