This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
