is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
