i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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