but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
this beer tastes like vomit already
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
