I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
