bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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