I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
