i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Randomize
