babies were throwing up all over the place
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
