It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I'm going to jail i love you
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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