i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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