yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
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