We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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