We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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