If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
