So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I think I just sharted jello shots
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
