I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
