Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
