he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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