Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
