u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Randomize
