Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
