Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
