Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
The air was thick with penises
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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