If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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