i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
