I'm going to rape someone's good day.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
