I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
