We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
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