google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I enjoy the company of your penis
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
