we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
