if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
