so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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