girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i love accidental penises.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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