nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
