I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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