Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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