DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
