Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
